Heart broken

The inevitable has happened today.Yes I had a break up.It was the only serious relationship I got into in my whole life. And I wanted it to last forever.

Some things about her.She was one of the good friends i had in my college. We were together for almost 3 yrs in college. She had a relationship with my best friend and many a times i acted as the messenger for them.I used to transfer gifts and cards from her to my friend and vice versa. I was like a good guy they knew. Someone who could be there for you when you need him. I advised them many a times and even helped them to resolve their fights. My friend as turned out later was not that serious about this whole love thing and decided to end the relation. There were tears all around and i helped her recover, bad mouthing my friend in the process.Her parents also came to know about all this and she had a hard time facing their anger.

The story ended.My friend has got married and even has a kid today.I left my hometown for job and she also got one in a bank.We used to talk as friends though and mostly we discussed career issues. My liking for her never ended and we got bit closer. She also discussed about the guys who had come to see her for marriage. I asked her once what she wanted in a guy and she told me all. I wrote a mail to her next day telling her that 'I had all those qualities that u mentioned u wanted. So am i eligible for you.' She understood my intention and with some talk accepted my proposal.

We used to speak 3-4 times a day on phone. Would mail each other and exchange 1000s sms in a day.It was a great time of my life and i looked forward to spending time with her whenever i went home.We were togther for last one year and even discussed marriage. As i was not earning that well and my PG ending next year we decided to wait till next year before i could look for a jump in my career and salary. As she comes from a business family and is earning better than me i needed to have some financial standing before we could look to reveal the things to our family.

But my last visit to home and we didn't meet.Everytime i called her to meet she made some or the other excuse.Not knowing what was on her mind i came back hoping for things to improve.

Last some days and we have not spoken properly. Some times we didn't speak for a day at a stretch. Whenever i called, it was like one way talk with me speaking all the times and for most of the things she replied in simple Hmmmmm.

I could sense somethin was wrong and today i got a message from her saying she wanted us to be just friends from now on. I called her immediately and
She said it was not possible for her to wait for me any longer with the growing pressure from her family to settle down.She said they wanted her to select a guy soon and get married. It was not possible for her to reject every guy she met. She could not tell her parents about me as she had faced lot of problems when they came to know about her relation with my friend. Her mother had cried and all hell broke lose. She didn't wanted a repeat of all this and decided to go with their decision.

All my request and assurance didn't work and she said she was sure that her decision was right.We decided to leave everything to fate and she said if by next year she didn't get married we might give it a try (Yes Try !!!).

I don't know who is wrong in this whole mess.May be i am too weak to go forward and tell everyone,may be we were not meant to be together,may be god is testing us,may be next year i will earn enough to convince people (who don't matter) that i am the right guy for her, may be...